


make me a robot, whatever it takes

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Discussions of death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 22:58:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16649464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Phil has always wanted to cheat death. Now he can. Dan isn't so sure.





	make me a robot, whatever it takes

"Can we at least talk about it?"

"We are talking about it."

"No, we're not. You are telling me what we’re going to do. I feel like I should have a say in this as well. Seeing as, you know, it’s my life too."

Phil opens his mouth, then closes it. He looks antsy. A bit wild behind the eyes. Kind of like a mad scientist with a crazy idea, Dan muses. He'd normally find this amusing but the crazy idea Phil has got this time is going to turn their lives upside down and by the manic look in his eyes, Dan isn't sure he'll be able to talk him out of it.

"I just— I just don't understand what the hurry is. We're in our thirties. We've got our whole lives ahead of us. Why do you want to throw that away for something that might not even work?"

Phil stands up and paces the length of the room a few times. He wrings his hands and there's a spring in his step. The emotions on his face conflict the energy in his body.

It's raining outside. Big fat drops of water hitting the glass windows, making a ruckus. Dan tries to focus on the noise instead of Phil. He’s twitchy and Dan hates it. It unnerves him to see the generally calm and controlled man so out of sorts.

Phil suddenly skids to a stop in front of him and sinks to his knees. He takes Dan's hands in his and looks up into his eyes.

“”We talked about this, Dan. We discussed it at length. You said we'd do it, remember? You agreed." He sounds frantic.

Dan does remember. He remembers vividly. The sleepless nights. The absolute horror in Phil’s eyes the day Dan was mugged.The inconsolable sobs wracking through his body. He hadn’t eaten for three days and Dan had no option but to give in. It was the only way he could return some semblance of normality back into their lives. 

It had been completely hypothetical in Dan’s mind, of course. Just a way to get Phil to stop worrying. He had been sure Phil would forget about it in a couple of weeks once the initial panic was over. 

He never even imagined the program would get approved. Especially not within their lifetime.

But it had. It had gotten approved and now they were rounding up the volunteers. The mail had arrived just this morning. To both of their inboxes. Dan had taken one look at it and dismissed it as trash but Phil hadn’t.

He’d gotten all worked up and pulled Dan to his feet and kissed him really hard. When asked what the matter was, he gushed about how they’re going to live forever now and how no one could hurt them.

Dan had laughed but something behind Phil’s eyes had told him he was being completely serious. 

“It was different back then. I was—I was scared.” 

“For good reason. You remember what happened, right?”

“Yes. But it’s too soon, Phil. Way too soon. I don’t wanna do this now.” His voice sounds small. 

“It’ll be decades if we wait, Dan. Decades, if ever. This is our one chance. Our only chance. You know how long these things take. ”

Dan shakes his head. He can hear the desperation in Phil’s voice and he hates it. He always has. Phil has always been terrified of death. Both for himself and for the people around him. He’s been looking for a solution for ages now. It’s mostly been jokes but Dan can tell he’s serious this time around.

“You’re scared. You’re doing this because you’re scared.” 

“Yes, yes I am. Of course I am. Why aren’t you?” Phil

“I— I just don’t think we should make a decision of this caliber fueled by fear. It’s our whole lives we are talking about. You’re ready to give it all up in a puff of smoke? Just like that?” Dan asks.

Phil stands up and starts pacing again.

Dan buries his face in his hands.

“I don’t get why you’re being so stubborn about this,” Phil says, “we decided on this together. I’ve been waiting for this since I was a child. We’re finally getting a chance, a shot at forever and you want to sit here and talk about what measly fifty years we have left?”

Dan shakes his head and stares at the carpet. Outside, the rain thins. The sounds are fading and he can hear himself breathe. It suddenly feels very precious. The sound of air going in and out of his lungs. He opens his mouth and blows. He imagines the puff of air he just exhaled going up. Up, up into the sky till it reaches the clouds and comes down into a heavy pour. 

There’s a mound the size of a golf ball in his throat.

Phil is in front of him again, holding his hands. 

“I don’t want to lose you” he whispers.

“I don’t want that either.” That’s the one thing he’s sure about.

Phil’s hands cup his face, so so tender. He strokes his cheeks.

“We won’t have to.” 

Dan closes his eyes and the tears trail down his face, hot and salty and full of unsaid words, emotions he doesn’t have the courage to express.

He imagines the world as Phil wishes it. The two of them, side by side. Together. With nothing harming them ever. Eternity stretches out in front of him. Death an odd suggestion.

But soon the images start to morph into twisted metal and damaged parts. Eons stretching out with no end in sight. Eternal boredom. Beached in a desert. Never moving forward. Nothing changing, ever. 

He knows that’s not what it’ll be like. His scifi addled brain like to take over sometimes.

The brochure had said they’d be implanted into microhips. They wouldn’t have an actual physical form. They’d feel like they were in their real bodies. No chances of shoddily built robot parts needing repairs.

And it wouldn’t be boring either. They’d have the whole of time and space to explore, to do whatever they want. No restrictions.

“Dan?” Phil asks, breaking him out of his reverie. He wipes the tears off his face with soft fingers.

Dan closes his eyes and feels. Feels the tears cooling at his jaw. Phil’s hands on his cheeks. The warmth of his breath on his face. The softness of his stomach where it’s pressing against his knees. 

Apparently, he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference when he’s inside the chip. He finds that hard to believe. It’s insulting, almost.

But then, what if it is true? What if he’s being offered an eternity of bliss and he’s just being an idiot. So many people would jump at the chance of eternal life and he’s sitting here contemplating if breathing would feel the same.

He knows he’s fighting a losing battle but the voice inside, the tiny tiny voice inside him that’s still not ready to give up on this form, insists he try one more time.

“What if something goes wrong? Theses are trials, Phil. The first trials. What if it doesn’t work? Or worse what if they fuck something up and we’re half in half out or what if—”

“—Shh.” Phil places a finger against his lips. 

Dan sighs. He’s going to give in. He can feel it in his bones.

“It’s been tested Dan. I’m not trying to kill us both. It works. They know it works. I wouldn’t be asking you if it didn’t.” Phil is warm and understanding. He knows he’s won.

Dan already knows all of that. He’s just...not ready.

“I don’t—I don’t want to.” His voice cracks on the last word.

“It’s going to be fine, baby. I’d never let anything hurt you. Ever again. We’ll be safe forever. I’ll make sure of it.” He presses a kiss to Dan’s forehead.

Dan bites his lips. He’s terrified, but he has no arguments left. 

He clings to Phil and hangs on for dear life.

**Author's Note:**

> [link to fic on tumblr](https://megiaolf.tumblr.com/post/180205123369/title-make-me-a-robot-read-on-ao3-rating-g-word)  
> come say hi and tell me what you think!


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